It’s funny, I had every intention of starting this last September. Me being me, that voice in my head chimes “Yes! Great idea! Next week”. And next week turned into 7 months. I’ve always enjoyed blabbing on about shit, in hopes that someone is listening. 75% of the time, someone is listening… So I thought, maybe there are MORE people out there that want to listen. But whether you are reading because you have run out of books to read or because you genuinely have nothing better to do with your life, I will continue writing until I get over this (like many of my hobbies) and move on.

One thing that might mildly excite you, I am currently in the process of planning my sort-of dream wedding and honeymoon. YES, YES, SO EXCITING ISN’T IT? Alas, no. If there is one piece of advice I can give to anyone, it’s – GET A FUCKING WEDDING PLANNER. Can I drop the F’ bomb on this? Well too bad if I can’t, because it is literally the only word suitable enough to emphasise my point. GET. A. WEDDING. PLANNER. Especially if you’re having a destination wedding. I feel as though I should provide some background information on this… Maybe I’ll start from the beginning.

I am an almost 30 year old female from Sydney. I live beach side with my beloved significant other, and we have no pets (my brother & mother’s cat and dog gets all the love I can possibly give to pets), and we have no children (which means I am as free as a bird and if you want me to join you on a spontaneous trip to Ibiza, I can most definitely do that provided my account has sufficient funds). I’m not a fan of my job, but I enjoy the company of the people I work with (won’t give away too much there). I grew up in Western Sydney, and couldn’t be more proud because it’s helped me develop into the soul-less person I am today. I have had my fair share of life-changing moments, and I am grateful each and everyday because “what doesn’t kill you, only makes you stronger”. I may or may not dabble on my past life and experiences later on, so if you want more information you’ll need to stay tuned.
I met my favourite man in universe on a hot summers night on Bondi Beach. I know, very cliche.. But I cannot control fate and how corny it wants to be. We were both the designated drivers for our respective groups, thus not drinking as much as we wanted to. I had joined a couple of guy mates (I hung out with predominantly guys during this period – less bullshit, more fun), and after getting rejected from Ivy Pool because my friend had an altercation with the door bitch two nights before, we decided to set our sights on the Bucket List in Bondi. FUN FACT – I HAD MY YEAR 12 FORMAL BACK WHEN IT WAS NICK’S SEAFOOD. Anyway, the night wasn’t too exciting. One of my friends had found a group of hoes he had previously hooked up with, and we ended up sitting at their table. Long story short, my significant other’s friend knew one of the said hoes and they also ended up sitting with us. We clicked. Like literally sat there and laughed like we had known each other for years. Turns out, he’s also a Gemini and born on my lucky number 13. We were actually both talking to someone at that point (my friends noticed I was getting along and attempted to cock block me with the good old “*my name*, YOUR BOYFRIEND IS CALLING”). When you click with someone like that, it’s something you can’t ignore because let’s face it.. it rarely happens. Our first date was lovely, he took me to Toko and we spent part of our date with chopsticks shoved under our top lip like two walruses. Our second date wasn’t as tame. I got shit faced. Like to the point where I don’t remember part of the night. After spending most of the day at Bunnings, Costco and Fantastic Furniture (without eating), I came home to finish more shelves for my growing shoe collection. After receiving a text from significant other, I decided to quickly shower and get ready (still, no food). In all honesty, I had expected SOME nibblies at his. After having 3 large vodka sodas (half vodka, half soda), it was time for cafe Patron shots. One of significant other’s friends was not in the mood for shots, so me being the idiot that i am decided to have his too. Why? Until this day, I don’t know. I loved cafe Patron, but 3 shots and 3 huge drinks in the space of an hour with no food really took it’s toll on me. It was time to head out, so we caught a cab (no option for Uber back then). For those of you that have not been in the back seat of an Indian driven cab, you can and will get car sick even if you’re sober. At this point, I was anything but. I went from being happy drunk, so nauseous AF and I would never recover. After being almost rejected from Cherry Bar (yes, they didn’t want to let me in), I realised I needed to pee. When I’m shitfaced I’ll move heaven and hell to stop myself from vomiting. I sat on the toilet in the cubicle, to do what I had gone there to do, and involuntarily projectile vomited all over the back of the door (it’s ok, it was all liquid since I had eaten absolutely nothing). The rest of the night is a blur, but my beautiful significant other looked after me all night and the next day. In my hungover state, we actually bonded more. He had seen me at my worst after knowing me for a week, and I was obviously awesome enough for him to keep me around. I’ll skip all the parts in between, but 3 years later he proposed on our anniversary. Now an issue we have is we are incredibly similar. I am a younger, female version of him (we’ve even fractured the exact same bone, on the exact same hand during Year 11). During each anniversary, I take him out on the night of our anniversary and he’ll take me out on the weekend. Our 2nd anniversary, I had narrowed it down to two restaurants – Bennelong or Momofuku Seiobo. Flipped a coin, and settled for Momofuku. Bless that coin, because guess where he had booked? Bennelong of course. I know, what are the chances? 12 months fly by, and it’s time to celebrate our 3rd anniversary. I thought I’d get in early and emailed someone I knew that worked at Quay (connected with her through work). Emailed twice – no response. What a bitch, but it worked out for the best. I wanted something with a nice view, so I settled on the Dining Room at the Park Hyatt. Picked him up after work in the Uber, and made our way there. He looked like a little nervous throughout the drive, and when we arrived he had a bit of a giggle. “What’s wrong? Were you going to book this too?”. “I’ll tell you on Saturday”, he said. After a successful date night, Saturday comes around. I used to work on Saturday mornings, so after an exhausting waste of a morning I would nap for an hour or two until significant other would get home and wake me. I wake up from my nap quite late, about 6-ish. Where is significant other? I call him, slightly confused and tired because I overslept. Poor thing explains his car shat itself in the car park and he had to get it towed (he sounded genuinely angry). Anyway, I get ready and wait for him to get home so we can head to part 2 of our anniversary celebrations. Where do we rock up to? Quay of course (and for those of you thinking the girl i emailed was in on the surprise – no she wasn’t, she’s just a bitch). After a memorable dinner at Quay, I was once again shit faced. You’ll notice this is and will continue to be a common occurrence throughout most of my stories. I cannot do a multi-course degustation without wine pairing, and it always leads to either A) A louder me, B) A funnier me or C) A tired me. On this particular night, I settled for option C. Once dinner concluded, significant other suggested we head to the Park Hyatt for drinks. I thought that was fantastic, but I thought it was a better idea to go home as I felt highly intoxicated. He convinced me – we hadn’t been out on a Saturday in a while and we had a reason to celebrate. So after what felt like a long journey to the center of the earth (but was really about 100m), I found myself sitting alone at the bar waiting for my Tom Collins, while significant other went to the bathroom. Upon his return, he suggests we head to the bar upstairs. Once again confused, I follow his lead only to remember there’s no bar upstairs. I get to the room he has set up, with beautiful roses throughout. Did anything click? No, because I had been waiting for this moment several times that year only to be disappointed. And surelyyyyy he wouldn’t propose to me when my nails were in dire need of an infill. But yes, there we were on the balcony with him on one knee struggling to pull my beautiful ring out of his pocket. In that moment, all that came out was inaudible babble, some sobbing, some laughter but no answer. We had never gone ring shopping, but boy did he do well. Fit like a glove! Two and a half years later, and here we are. Planning the party of the year – Our Vegas Wedding!

Now, I have been engaged for 2 and a half years now. I have had ample time to prepare, lose weight, get my shit together. Have I done any of that? No. Will I get there? Most likely. I’m currently attempting this “keto” craze. Does it work? Yes. Is it easy? Absolutely not. I’ve cut out my favourite thing in life.. Potatoes. All to fit into this gorgeous gown of mine. I have another fitting in 2 weeks, so I just pray it’s fine (I’ve carb loaded the past two days, and intend on carb loading on Easter Sunday).

I think that’s enough for a first post. Stay classy San Diego xx